Thursday, January 7, 2010

oh what a tangled web

New year's eve I was tending bar in a small private club, a semi regular volunteer gig that serves me well in that kind of social scene. I'm a non-drinker. But lest you think I'm a puritan, I smoke like a mad fiend..... but that's another story. A good time was had by all . We closed the doors at 2am. Ah, but what do I find left behind, beneath a table....a small black knapsack. This being a members-only club, our little work-team of 3 knows all the members, though errant guests do get by once in awhile without registering, as do a few crashers. We opened the knapsack expecting to find ID. None. But it did contain a large bible from what seemed to be a seniors' church, an envelope of blank application forms for opening a small business, a tattered notebook with almost illegible somewhat illiterate randomly scrawled jottings and, explaining the weight of the bag, a beautiful signed inuit soapstone animal carving, stuffed inside a dirty white sock & then wrapped in a dirty white undershirt. How absurd! Who would carry such an expensive object around in an old rather grungy-looking knapsack on new year's eve? I took the knapsack home with me expecting an enquiry from the forgetful reveller the next morning. Nothing. 48 hours later I posted a notice, without knapsack-content details, on the community boards seen by most who are members of the club. No response. A couple of days later, my son & sister were visiting & I mentioned this strange occurrence to them. They wanted to see the inuit sculpture & its incongruous wrapping. Next thing I knew, the pair of them had revealed their secret inner yearnings to be detectives & were at my computer with the contents of the knapsack spread out before them googling for clues ! The inuit artist was easiest to find. He has an extensive website. His work sells from $500 to $5000. I can believe it. There were many photographs of his carvings but none that duplicated the sample sitting at that moment on my computer desk seeking resolution to its mystery. My sister set about deciphering the clues to be found in the notebook scribblings, my son fed said clues into google. Both were breathing fire with the excitement of the challenge. One name that google connected to a phone number, found scrawled in the notebook in heavy pencil, turned out to be that of one of a group of 5 charged & convicted of a tele-marketing scam that bilked 50,000 canadian & american companies of $23 million ! The application forms to start a small business found in the knapsack now began to have suspicious implications. And the possibility that the expensive sculpture in its seedy sock bag had in fact been stolen..... the reason nobody was laying claim to its no doubt unintended & regretful loss. The notebook also contained "to-do" lists. Among the mundane many :

go to church,

attend AA,

sell tickets.

find people who would like to invest !!!!

We seem to be looking for a bible-reading church-going reformed-alcoholic semi-illiterate senior who possibly steals soapstone sculptures & has aspirations to start a small investment business. Anybody know anyone who fits this description ? *~*

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

oooh... i didn't know that ur new year's eve gig had something more than just u enjoying the bartending. it cracked me up reading about ur family doing the detective thing. i would be interested myself.

this also got me curious - what are the chances of finding "a bible-reading church-going reformed-alcoholic illiterate senior who possibly steals soapstone sculptures & has aspirations to start a small investment business?" interesting character but i personally couldn't discount being suspicious.

siresim said...

this is an amazing story ... it would deserve some attention by a story-writer ... The Italian writer Gianni Rodary in his "The Grammar of Immagination" teaches how start writing a story: put together some objects that seem not to have any relationship and let your immagination to go ahead (G. Rodary is a rather internationally known writer for children) ... Let me give just a start to a possible story ...

"We may not to know that some special people go around in the world to leave hints to poets ho have lost their inspiration ... something that may capture their attention and ..."

Have a good weekend ... maybe writing the story of a little man with a little black bag ...

Alexandre Fundone said...

Vous avez le talent de la narration comme personne, chère Ana !
Such an amazing storyteller you are !

Unknown said...

well, ana ... this is better than a mystery novel! i could envision the entire story in my mind - which is a tribute to the fine storyteller you are, just as observed by alexandre!

i doubt you'll have the owner of the goods step forward, tho' surely he/she sat with others at that location. were there many folks there snapping photos that night? hmmm ... perhaps the detective work will continue?stery?!!

you must share - if "solved"!

shall i call you 'sherlock smith' for now? mystery theatre! love it!

Anonymous said...

Finally..I can comment :)
love your story & narration as always Mam! Hoping to see more coming... and do ease down on the smoking bit..LOL!

Hey..How come I don't see any picture with this article? :)

your Friend,
Kupa.

BDM said...

Try asking the guy who sells the Outreach rag at the corner LCBO ... asking obliquely, of course. I hear he's plugged into all kinds of dubious neighbourhood goings-on and might have some hints about a party crasher. Or else the Club might have to create a lost and found memorial showcase. Heh.

Jill said...

Oh Gosh, Ana Lee - I think you've got the outline of a fascinating mystery novel here; and I think you've got the imagination and writing skill to flesh it out and complete the story too...